Our plane has been taken over by masked terrorists.
They claim they are from the jihadist group:
"The Holy Hand That Grasps The Righteous Sword And Shield Of The Most Benevolent And Almighty Allah And Let Us Not Forget His True Prophet, The One And Only Muhammad, Oh We Will Destroy Western Decadence And Arrogance Group"
Why their almighty god needs their help to win his battles, I'll never know. But they have turned the plane around, and we are heading for Algeria.
If only we had our rifles!!! But the damn new restrictions on the amount of luggage we could take on board meant that we had to sacrifice our rifles in favour of extra food. Because everyone knows airplane food SUCKS.
But anyway, please ask the US Army to come and save us all!!! We don't have much time!!
*Shouting offscreen*
PLEASE HELP!!!!
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